Naruto Destiny
by To'M'L Kuran
Summary: Inspired by AlloraStar217's "Is this Reality". Struggling with depression is hard enough, but Ashlee has her 4 year old son and college on top of that. When Nintendo goes searching for beta testers for their Naruto virtual reality game, Ashlee gets more than she bargained for and now has to fight her way out of the game before it's too late. OCXOC, SakuraXItachi
1. Apathetic

**AN: Hi there. This is a story inspired by my friend and roommate-AlloraStar217-'s "Is this Reality". It's a fantastic Transformer's fan fiction. You should all check it out. This one is obviously for Naruto, and is based on the concept of a virtual reality Naruto game in which players portray characters from the series. All will be explained later.**

 **Now, a little bit about Ashlee Rickazzard, my main character. She is based on myself and some of my quirks, but is ultimately a different person than I am. Ashlee and I both have a history of mental illness-and her symptoms are based on mine-as well as struggle with feeling apatheic. I was NOT apathetic when I wrote this, although her feelings are based off of those I have felt in the past, so no need to worry about my state of mind at the moment. I'm in a fairly stable place right now. Ashlee is also a teen mom, just like I am. Her son is based off of mine. And Karen is somewhat based on my roommate-AlloraStar217. My son adores her, just like Tommy adores Karen.**

 **If anyone has any questions about mental illness or my struggle with depression, feel free to ask. If you are struggling with your own battle and just want to talk or need someone to listen, I'm here for you. I do encourage you to seek professional help though. I may aspire to study psychology, but that does not make me anywhere near a licensed psychiologist.**

 **Also wanted to add that I'm not abandoning "Regrets and Goodbyes". I'm still working on it, but I really needed to work on this. Allora's story just grabbed my soul and made me write this. I haven't choose pairings for this one yet, mostly because I have yet to develop the other characters, but there will probably be an AshleeXMaleCharacter in here somewhere.**

 **Anyway, on to the story!**

Life had been dull for a long time for Ashlee Rickazzard. Her depression had been acting up and she had been acting apathetic for weeks. Nothing seemed to make her happy. Not reading. Not drawing. Not school. Not even spending time with her 4 year old son, Tommy. To put it plainly, Ashlee was board. She was board with her life. She craved adventure and excitement, but being a broke 20 year old college student with a small child, she had little time or resources to go on any adventures. The most excitement she got was when Tommy would play make-believe, dragging Ashlee into his world of imagination and pretend.

Today, Ashlee was sitting on the couch in her small two-bedroom townhouse, pretending to pay attention to the TV. It was only 3:30 in the afternoon and there was nothing interesting on TV right now. She'd choosen a show on HGTV as it seemed the least boaring at the moment. The townhouse she lived in was part of her school's housing department; the development's main residences were college students and their families. The small two-story unit was long and narrow. The lower level had white brick walls and linolium floors. All of the counters and appliances were white. There was little color in the room except for the brown wood of the table and chairs and the ugly green fabric of the couch. When Ashlee and her roommate, Karen, picked the couch up from the guy on Craigslist, Ashlee had compared the color to that of a monkey's vomit. But when you're broke, free is sometimes all you can afford. Ashlee and Karen had had a good laugh about the color at the time. The two roommates had done what they could to spruce the place up a bit, but their budget hadn't allowed for them to do too much yet, as they'd only moved in a month ago in July and their financial aid checks for the semester would not be coming until September, leaving little budget for the month rather tight. This was especially true considering they paid for their own air conditioning and Minnesota's summers were drastically warmmer than their winters. 80+ degrees and 80% humidity was the hellish norm they lived in. The winters there were no better. It gets well below zero some days and above feezing on other days. Minnesota was basically a the home of bipolar weather. They say there's two seasons in Minnesota: road construction and snow.

Ashlee sighed and turned off the TV, giving up on trying to focus on her show. Her brain was foggy today, as it was most days. She begged and prayed that her psychiatrist would be changing her medications at their next session. They'd been weaning Ashlee off of her current anti-depressant for months in preperation for starting a new one that didn't cause her to have such a foggy brain. Hopefully, this new one wouldn't make her so apathetic and uncaring. Of course, feeling little to nothing was better then feeling out of control and sometimes even suicidal. She would always choose to feel nothing over feeling that. But she still would like to feel something. Just not that.

Ashlee turned her thoughts away from that period of her life. She was different now. That was behind her. She was a full time mother to her son now. She was mostly stable mentally, although not quite so financially. She did have a job, just a low paying one. Having Karen around made things easier for her, both coping wise and financially. Tommy adored her. They shared a love for transformers and he would always refer to her as "Optimus Prime" when she wore her necklace with the autobot symbol on it.

Karen and Tommy weren't here right now. Ashlee was alone in her small, bland townhouse. Tommy was at preschool now and Karen was at work. Karen had offered to pick up Tommy on her way home from work, since it was on the way, so Ashlee had little to do for the next hour.

'I could make dinner...' Ashlee thought to herself. 'There's some ground beef in the freezer. I could make meatballs...'

Ashlee got up. She wondered into the kitchen, pulled the meat from the freezer, and started to fill the sink with hot water. She submerged the frozen meat in the steaming water and let it sit. It would need to thaw before she could make her meatballs.

'Well...now what...?'

The fogginess in her brain was starting to overwhelm her. She could feel her anxiety rising, her heartbeat and breath quickening ever so slightly.

'Ok, Ashlee...You are safe. You are here in this room. You are here in this house. You are safe.'

Ashlee took a deep breath and went up to the room she shared with Tommy. The paused in her room, trying to remember where she'd put what she was looking for. She looked under her bed, the scratchy blue carpet rubbing against her cheek. No, not there. Perhaps in the nightstand. Ashlee dug through her drawers, passing bras and socks as she did. No, not there either. Where did she put it? Oh! That's right!. She pulled back her pillow and revealed a small book. It was essentially a small photo album that she had filled with coping skills and postive quotes. She'd made it while in treatment. It was called a coping book. She turned to an orange page that read "What to do when I feel overwhelmed". There were little pictures of coping skills that Ashlee had learned when she was in treatment. Her gaze fell on a picture of an ice cube.

'OK, that will work.'

Returning to the kitchen, Ashlee set her phone down on the counter. She pulled up a youtube video of meditation music. The gentle sound of a breeze blowing through windchimes filled her ears as she pulled the ice tray out of the freezer. She put a few cubes in a plastic baggy. She sat down on the fllor in a meditative position. She closed her eyes and squeezed on the ice. The frozen cube was cold enough to make her hand sting a little bit before going numb. She took deep breaths repeating the words "I am here in this place. I am safe." in her head. By the time the ice had completely melted, she no longer felt overwhelmed.

As she cleaned up her small mess, she heard the sound of footsteps and giggles approaching her door.

"Mommy! Mommy! Optimus Prime picked me up from school today!" Tommy declared as he entered the door and rushed over to hug Ashlee.

"She did? Oh I bet that made you so happy!" Ashlee looked up at Karen and gave her a smile, which the younger woman returned. "What did you do at school today?"

Tommy quickly began telling his mother all about his day, who he had played with, what he had learned. Both of the boy's parents had both been rather gifted in school, although Ashee's ex had abandoned his pursuit of knowledge after their break up in favor of a life of raves and partying. They both had dealt with their break up and mental health struggles in different ways. Ashlee had choosen to seek treatment while Tommy's father had choosen to self medicate. Tommy was the only good thing that had come from their relationship. The boy was incredibly intuitive and was intelligent beyond his years. Ashlee had attempted to get him into preschool this year, but the charter school that Ashlee had in mind for him would not budge on their age policy. So Ashlee had elected to send Tommy to a highly ranked preschool rather than a mediocre elementry school.

After Ashlee and Tommy had their talk about his day, Ashlee sent Tommy to go play in their room for a little while so she and Karen could talk. Karen had a burning look in her eyes, as if she were dying to tell Ashlee something.

"What's with you? Did your fanfiction get an increidble review again? You look like you're about to burst with excietment."

"So you know how you always put yourself into your fandoms when you watch or read something?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, what if you could really do it?"

"Like Virtual Reality? Come on, Karen, that stuff only happens in movies and your transformers fan fic."

"Not anymore. Nintendo's been keeping some secrets from the media. They announced today that they're beta testing a new Virtual Reality game."

"What? There's no way they've kept something like this a secret! This would have taken years to develop!"

"Apparently the staff has been paid really well to keep quiet. They've asked a manga author to help create the universe for their game."

"You mean it's not mario or yoshi or something?"

"Nope. And you'll never guess who it is?"

Ashlee thought for a moment. "It's not a Dragon Ball Z game is it? Because it would kind of suck if I can't play the first Virtual Realtiy game ever just because I don't know the fandom at all."

"Nope, guess again. Think: who are you always saying is a perfect human being?"

"Itachi Uchiha, but I don't see how that's relavent...Wait! You're not saying..."

"Yep! Sure is! Look!"

Karen held up her phone and Ashlee let out a squeal of excitement. On her phone was the poster for the world's first virutal reality game. It was entitled "Naruto Destiny-the Infinate Tsukuyomi".

Ashlee held the phone as if it were a devine gift from God Above. She scrolled through the article attached to the poster.

"After years of dedicated research, Nintendo is proud to announce the world's first Virtual Reality game. We have partnered with Masashi Kishimoto to bring the characters of Naruto into a fully interactive virtual reality simulation game where players will portray characters from the series to the best of their ability to defeat Madara's Infinate Tsukuyomi and return to the real world. As this is based in the Infinate Tsukuyomi world, the plot of the game is unique and does not follow the series. Characters and abilities will be somewhat the same, but offer room for player inturpritation and developement. Before this game and it's system will be made available to the public, the game must first be beta tested. We are in the process of selecting beta testers to finish developing the game. The beta testers will be selected through a contest in which potential players make their case for why they would be the best fit to become one of our beta testers. There will be a personality test and a general series knowledge test to help determine not only if a person is worthy of becoming a beta tester, but who they would potentially play as. To enter the competition, please click the link at the bottom of the screen."

She scrolled down to the bottom of the page. There was the url, just like the article said. Boy did Ashlee find it tempting to push it. But she knew she couldn't.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Karen asked. "I thought you'd be more excited for this."

"I am excited, but there's no way I can be a beta tester. I'll just have to wait until three years after the game comes out and I can afford to buy whatever fancy system Nintendo's going to use for this thing."

Ashlee sighed heavily and laid down on the couch. She was excited, yes, but also bummed. She wanted so badly to go and be a beta tester, but she knew she had responsiblities to attend to. She couldn't just up and leave her life. Tommy needed her. She had work and school. As much as she wanted adventure, as much as she wanted to go, she could not justify even thinking about joining such a contest. Not that she'd ever get choosen, but to even hope for such a thing...it seemed like it was more than Ashlee deserved.

"Ash...I talked to your mom on the way here. We both agree that you haven't been your best lately. You're becoming more and more apathetic. You need to find something to be excited about. Why not this?"

"On the off chance I get in, what then? It's not as if I can just leave. I have responsibliities."

"Patty and I talked about that. She said that if you do get in, she'll take care of Tommy and logistics. She really wants to help you, Ash, but you've got to stop pushing her away."

Ashlee paused for a second before finally saying, "I'll think about it."

Karen gave her a soft smile and a hug before ascending the stairs to her room.

She looked back at the phone in her hand. Could she do this? Was it selfish to even think about wanting something like this? What would happen if she did win?

"Kar, you forgot your phone!"

 **AN: So what do you guys think? Let me know what I can improve on and what you liked. Again, check out AlloraStar217's story "Is this Reality".**


	2. Dreams and Games

**AN: Remember, reviews make To'M'L happy ;)**

* * *

To push or not to push? That was the question Ashlee was struggling with. After a long pep-talk with Karen, Ashlee had allowed her friend to talk her into filling out the application to be a beta tester.

 _"You won't get in"_ said the voice in her head. Karen had dubbed the voice "Dreadlock"-because he puts you in feelings you _dread_ and _locks_ you in them.

 _"Shut up!"_ Ashlee told Dreadlock _"I'm nervous enough without you pestering me!"_

 _"Good!"_ Dreadlock said. Ashlee could picture the manifestation of her negative thoughts laughing maniacally.

 _"Oh leave her alone, Dread"_ said another voice in Ashlee's head. Karen had named this one "Joyrider". _"You're scaring the poor girl! Don't you want to go inside a virtual reality game? Think of how fun that will be!"_

 _"Think of all the people we could bring misery to!"_

 _"Oh stop it! You big old meanie!"_

 _"Shut up, you stupid little fairy!"_

Joy and Dread bickered back and forth, giving Ashlee a headache.

 _"Will you both shut up!"_ This was the third voice, the voice of reason: Simples Stream. _"You're both giving Ashlee a headache! May I remind you that without her, we all cease to exist?! So knock it off!"_

 _"Sorry, Stream,"_ The two voices said.

This was how Ashlee organized her thoughts. Sometimes Ashlee's imagination ran off with her train of thought and she often found herself simply staring off into space, listening to the conversations inside her. Was she crazy? No. Just lonely. This was how she got social interaction when she was alone.

Ashlee had imagined the manifestation of the thoughts into three different characters, all of which had been named by Karen.

There was Dreadlock. Ashlee imagined him to be a small red demon with messy black hair and a temper. He represented every bad thought Ashlee ever had, every unpleasant, impure emotion. Lust, envy, anger, sorrow, greed, guilt, shame, doubt...they were all bundled up into the little red demon that was Dreadlock.

Then there was Joyrider. Ashlee thought of her as a little Tinker Bell type fairy, except with a better attitude. She was everything that Dreadlock wasn't. She was calm, pleasant, and happy. She was very protective of Ashlee and her psyche.

Last, but not least, was Simple Stream, the voice of reason. She was the one that kept Joyrider and Dreadlock in check. Ashlee pictured her to be a small grey owl with glasses. It was Simple Stream that settled down Joyrider when she was in a manic phase and kept Dreadlock in check when he wanted to destroy something. Stream was the one that kept Ashlee sane.

Stream spoke to Ashlee.

 _"Ashlee, whether you do this or not is up to you, but remember that everyone is rooting for you to do your best and is here to help you along your journey. In the event that you do get selected for this adventure, your mother will look after Tommy. Everyone needs some time away every once in a while."_

 _"You're right, Stream! Now, all of you, please be quite!"_

 _"Sorry Ashlee."_

Ashlee clicked the "Submit" button.

"There, that's that..." Ashlee said aloud, hoping for the best.

The application had been rather thorough. There was a knowledge test on the world of Naruto, which Ashlee felt she did rather well on. There was a general information section-what languages you knew, how old you were, how you got along with others, etc. Lastly was an extensive personality test, which seemed like it was supposed to match you with the character you were most like.

That last part scared Ashlee a little. She'd tried to be as honest as possible, but if she did get picked, she was worried about who she'd get paired with. She was shy and loving like Hinata. She was fan-girly and quick to anger like Sakura. She was tom-boyish like Temari. She thought Ino's fighting style would match her rather well. But she also thought she was more useless than TenTen.

She was getting ahead of herself, she realized. This was all assuming that she would get picked at all. The last day for applications to be submitted was still a week away and then it would take who knows how long before they would even announce the winners.

Ashlee sighed and turned off the computer before looking at the clock. It was only 1:30 on a Saturday in late August. Karen wouldn't be home for at least a half hour, probably closer to 45 minutes. Tommy was napping and didn't need to be woken up until 2:30. Their friend Marie wasn't going to be here until 2. What was she to do with her time?

Ashlee decided to pull out her sketch pad, drawing and colored pencils, and paper trimmer. She pulled out papers from her sketch pad, folded them in half, and used the trimmer to cut down the line, leaving two even halves. She'd been working on her own graphic novel for several months now. This one was based off an anime she liked to watch "MÄR Heaven". It was the same concept of a kid being pulled into a parallel universe, except in this story his teacher accompanies him-because who in their right mind would let a kid go through some mysterious door that popped up out of no where-and they go to a wonderland inspired world.

Ashlee loved working on this book. It was on of several she'd been working on over the past several months, but this was her favorite. She loved creating the "Fushigi" world. She loved drawing "Alice" who, in her opinion, was one of her better drawn characters.

She had several chapters done in her "Fushigi no Kuni no Alice" a.k.a. Alice in Wonderland. Ashlee looked back to see where she'd left off. She'd just gotten to the part where Phantom is revealed to be Alice's older brother, Tom.

It was almost heartbreaking to see the look of grief on Alice's face, even if she was just a drawing. Tom had put her through a lot, not knowing they were siblings, because he was a knight for the red queen while Alice was a knight for the black queen.

Ashlee soon found herself lost in her "Fushigi" world. Time seemed to stand still for her as she got lost in her Wonderland. She didn't even notice Marie and Karen come in until Marie shouted "Is that the new chapter?"

Ashlee screamed and fell out of her chair.

Karen chuckled, but helped Ashlee up.

"Jeez! You guys gave me a heart attack."

"You didn't hear the door open?"

"You know she doesn't hear anything when she's drawing, Marie. She might as well have her headphones on and be watching anime."

Ashlee held up two fingers in a sign of peace with a dumb, innocent smile on her face. It was her way of saying "Whoops".

Marie's eyes fell on the page Ashlee had been working on.

"What?! Phantom is Alice's brother?!"

"Come on! Spoiler alert, Marie!"

* * *

Tommy, Ashlee, Karen, and Marie spent the evening playing games, reading fan fiction aloud, and watching Disney movies. This had been their tradition since Ashlee and Karen become roommates back in January of that year. Ashlee looked forward to it every week. Sometimes, it was the only thing that got her through the week. What if she did get picked? She'd miss this every week. She'd miss her friends and her little boy.

"Why the long face, Ash?" Karen asked.

"You ok, hon?" Marie added.

"Yeah..." Ashlee said.

It was late in the evening now, and Tommy had gone to bed a few hours ago. The young women were now gathered around a game of monopoly and munching on popcorn.

"Are you sure?" Karen said. "Is Dreadlock giving you trouble? Tell Joyrider and Simple Stream to keep him quiet!"

"No, it's not that. I'm just thinking about how I'd miss all this if I got picked. It's not like the testing facility is going to be anywhere near here. It's probably all the way in Japan."

"Hey, it's going to be a while before they even announce the betas, let alone have you go the testing site," Karen said. "You have time, Ash."

"Even in the meantime, we're not going anywhere," Marie assured her, putting her hand on Ashlee's.

"You guys are the best." Ashlee said as she reached over and gave her friends an akward hug, having to reach over the game board to reach her friends. She chuckled a little.

"What's so funny?" Karen asked.

"Just thinking about how it'd be funny if I got picked. This all kind of reminds me of your transformers story. Except instead of you getting picked, it'd be me."

Karen chuckled back. "Yeah, better you than me this time. I don't know much about Naruto. I didn't get passed the testing part."

"You mean you still haven't gotten passed the chunin exams?"

"I haven't had time yet!"

Marie giggled at Ashlee and Karen's antics.

* * *

The three young women stayed up late into the night. Marie had missed the last bus back to her place, so she slept on Karen and Ashlee's ugly green couch. Karen had gone to her room for the night, and Ashlee had snuck into hers and Tommy's room, trying to not wake the young boy.

As Ashlee settled down into her bed for the night, she couldn't help but wonder what the future would bring. The job she'd started back in March was going well, though it was not quite enough for them to live too comfortably. She was supposed to start her sophomore year of college in less than a month. Despite her struggles, things overall weren't that bad. Would that all go away if she was selected as a beta tester?

 _"Bad things happen to good people, Ashlee..."_ Dreadlock said bitterly.

 _"Don't scare the poor girl, Dread,"_ Joyrider chastised. _"Things will be ok, Ashlee! You'll see! Just do your best and good things will follow!"_

 _"Yeah, because that's always worked in the past..."_

 _"Will you two shut up! She's trying to sleep!"_

 _"Sorry, Stream!"_

After Ashlee's inner voices settled down, she soon fell asleep. But when she started to dream, she wished she had stayed awake.

* * *

 _This bus is weird. It's like the longer buses I ride in the city, but it's all bubble shaped and round._

 _I walk down the aisle in the bus. I see a group of boys ahead of me. They look like some boys I went to high school with. One boy in particular looks extremely familiar. He's tall and thin with short brown hair. His skin is a creamy. I recognize his face in an instant._

 _"Ryan-kun?"_

 _He looks up and smiles at me. He gestures for me to sit next to him._

 _I look around. Was he really wanting_ me _to sit next to him? Or was there someone else he was referring to? But there was no one else. Excited, I hurry to sit next to him._

 _Ryan Fredrickson was the boy I'd had a crush on since 8th grade. Even when I'd been with Tommy's father, my heart still yearned for Ryan-kun. I knew he didn't feel the same way though-in fact, I think he was rather freaked out by me-so I never pursued him outside of my dreams. Dreams...that's where we were together. In my dreams, we had always been lovers. Some times my dreams were peaceful and loving, other times they involved Ryan-kun being in danger. I'd spent most of 8th grade fearing that one of the monsters from my dreams would come through the classroom door and eat him. Between that and him never acknowledging my existence, my depression took hold of me as I screamed out internally for someone to see me hurting._

 _So why was here now? Why did he acknowledge me?_

 _I looked into his eyes. And he looked back into mine. He took my hand._

 _"Ashlee...I've always wanted to tell you this...I love you."_

 _"Ryan-kun? Really? I've...I've always loved you...I just never believed you could love me too."_

 _We shared a strong kiss that took my breath away._

 _"Why...why now?"_

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"I've loved you since we were kids...since we first met...but you never acknowledged me...so why now?"_

 _"Don't be stupid, Ashlee. I've always wanted you."_

 _The figures in the background faded away. The bus faded away. There was nothing but darkness and Ryan-kun and me._

 _"I see...this is all a dream..."_

 _Ryan-kun's face morphed into that of a demon. His beautiful face became distorted and monstrous. A third eye formed in the middle of his forehead. Horns grew out of the side of his head. His hair became long and darkened. He grew fangs and claws._

 _I was alone with this monster who had impersonated the man my heart never got over..._

 _"Fredrickson has never loved you...he will never love you...Tommy's father never loved you...no one will ever love you..."_

 _I clutched my head. His words burned my ears. I let out a fierce scream, begging that this would all stop._

 _"Wake up! Wake up!"_

* * *

Ashlee sat up, gasping for breath. Tears flowed from her eyes, her heart was racing.

"Just a dream...just a dream..." she whispered.

She looked at her clock. It read 3:30. She'd only been asleep for a few hours.

 _"Well...I guess we'll just have to stay up and contemplate how no one will ever love us..."_ Dreadlock said solemnly.

 _"I just_ LOVE _you guys"_

* * *

 **AN: Hope you guys liked it. Things will start to pick up after this one, I promise. A lot of this was based off real life stuff. "Karen" "Marie" and "Ashlee" do meet on Saturdays to play board games and read fan fiction. It's sort of become a tradition. "Karen" did name my thoughts manifestations just for this chapter. I told her I needed to name my negative emotions-my "Anti-Deep Thought" as I called it (See Allora's story to learn who Deep Thought is). After we came up with Dreadlock, I had to continue and together, we came up with Joyrider and Simple Stream. I'll be putting in more of their antics in future chapters. Hope you liked them :)**

 **Remember, reviews make a happy To'M'L :)**


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